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| 2007 Emmy Predictions |
[18 Jul 2007|05:02pm] |
OUTSTANDING DRAMA SERIES
24
Grey’s Anatomy
House
Lost
The Sopranos
OUTSTANDING LEAD ACTOR IN A DRAMA SERIES
Boston Legal – James Spader
Dexter – Michael C. Hall
House – Hugh Laurie
Rescue Me – Denis Leary
The Sopranos – James Gandolfini
OUTSTANDING LEAD ACTRESS IN A DRAMA SERIES
Brothers & Sisters – Sally Field
The Closer – Kyra Sedgwick
Law & Order: Special Victims Unit – Mariska Hargitay
Medium – Patricia Arquette
The Sopranos – Edie Falco
OUTSTANDING SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A DRAMA SERIES
Boston Legal – William Shatner
Grey’s Anatomy – T.R. Knight
Heroes – Masi Oka
Lost – Terry O’Quinn
The Sopranos – Michael Imperioli
OUTSTANDING SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A DRAMA SERIES
Brothers & Sisters – Rachel Griffiths
Grey’s Anatomy – Katherine Heigl
Grey’s Anatomy – Sandra Oh
Grey’s Anatomy – Chandra Wilson
The Sopranos – Lorraine Bracco
OUTSTANDING GUEST ACTOR IN A DRAMA SERIES
Boston Legal – Christian Clemenson
ER – Stanley Tucci
ER – Forest Whitaker
Law & Order: Special Victims Unit – Dylan Walsh
Nip/Tuck – Peter Dinklage
OUTSTANDING GUEST ACTRESS IN A DRAMA SERIES
24 – Jean Smart
Boston Legal – Megan Mullally
Grey’s Anatomy – Kate Burton
Law & Order: Special Victims Unit – Leslie Caron
Law & Order: Special Victims Unit – Marcia Gay Harden
OUTSTANDING COMEDY SERIES
30 Rock
Entourage
The Office
Two and a Half Men
Ugly Betty
OUTSTANDING LEAD ACTOR IN A COMEDY SERIES
30 Rock – Alec Baldwin
Monk – Tony Shalhoub
My Name Is Earl – Jason Lee
The Office – Steve Carell
Two and a Half Men – Charlie Sheen
OUTSTANDING LEAD ACTRESS IN A COMEDY SERIES
30 Rock – Tina Fey
Desperate Housewives – Felicity Huffman
The New Adventures of Old Christine – Julia Louis-Dreyfus
Ugly Betty – America Ferrera
Weeds – Mary-Louise Parker
OUTSTANDING SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A COMEDY SERIES
Entourage – Jeremy Piven
The Office – John Krasinski
The Office – Rainn Wilson
Two and a Half Men – Jon Cryer
Weeds – Justin Kirk
OUTSTANDING SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A COMEDY SERIES
30 Rock – Jane Krakowski
My Name Is Earl – Jaime Pressly
The Office – Jenna Fischer
Ugly Betty – Vanessa Williams
Weeds – Elizabeth Perkins
OUTSTANDING GUEST ACTOR IN A COMEDY SERIES
Entourage – Martin Landau
Extras – Ian McKellen
Extras – Daniel Radcliffe
Monk – Stanley Tucci
Ugly Betty – Leslie Jordan
OUTSTANDING GUEST ACTRESS IN A COMEDY SERIES
Desperate Housewives – Dixie Carter
Desperate Housewives – Laurie Metcalf
The Office – Rashida Jones
Two and a Half Men – Allison Janney
Ugly Betty – Patti Lupone
OUTSTANDING MADE-FOR-TV MOVIE
Angel Rodriguez
Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee
Life Support
Longford
The Ron Clark Story
OUTSTANDING MINISERIES
Broken Trail
Jane Eyre
Nightmares & Dreamscapes
Prime Suspect: The Final Act
Tsunami: The Aftermath
OUTSTANDING LEAD ACTOR IN A MADE-FOR-TV MOVIE OR MINISERIES
Broken Trail – Robert Duvall
Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee – Adam Beach
Longford – Jim Broadbent
Nightmares & Dreamscapes – William H. Macy
The Ron Clark Story – Matthew Perry
OUTSTANDING LEAD ACTRESS IN A MADE-FOR-TV MOVIE OR MINISERIES
Jane Eyre – Ruth Wilson
Life Support – Queen Latifah
Prime Suspect: The Final Act – Helen Mirren
The Starter Wife – Debra Messing
Why I Wore Lipstick to My Mastectomy – Sarah Chalke
OUTSTANDING SUPPORTING ACTOR IN A MADE-FOR-TV MOVIE OR MINISERIES
Broken Trail – Thomas Haden Church
Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee – Aidan Quinn
Longford – Andy Serkis
Tsunami: The Aftermath – Hugh Bonneville
Tsunami: The Aftermath – Tim Roth
OUTSTANDING SUPPORTING ACTRESS IN A MADE-FOR-TV MOVIE OR MINISERIES
Angel Rodriguez – Rachel Griffiths
Broken Trail – Greta Scacchi
Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee – Anna Paquin
Prime Suspect: The Final Act – Laura Greenwood
The Starter Wife – Judy David
OUTSTANDING REALITY-COMPETITION PROGRAM
The Amazing Race
American Idol
Dancing with the Stars
Project Runway
Survivor
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| The More You Know |
[23 May 2007|05:02pm] |
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mood |
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 informed |
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If you're 35, more than 75% of your peers have already married once if you haven't. It's OK if you're 29. 55% of 25-29 year olds have never married. If you're 85 and have never married, congratulations. You're part of 3.4% of the population your age.
Check your almanac.
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| Half Nelson (2006) |
[17 Jan 2007|09:35pm] |
Half Nelson is one of those ridiculously frustrating experiences. From the beginning, the story and screenplay suggest the film's heart is in the right place, but the execution gives it a heart of stone.
A meandering plot revolves around a crack-addicted teacher (Ryan Gosling), his thirteen-year-old pupil (Shareeka Epps), and her jailed brother's drug dealing friend (Anthony Mackie) who wants to employ her. These colorful characters are acted far better than they are written.
Gosling has a particularly difficult job making sense of Dan Dunne. Dan's not very likable, with a hot temper and, what the film shows constantly, the drug addiction. Yet Gosling shows how Dan gets away with it. He's cute with a great smile, which let's him get away with murder -- or attempted rape. He's almost too good-looking for the role, but it's necessary to keep Dan from being impossibly despicable.
Epps has an equally rough job at making Drey remotely believable. After all, how many eighth graders do you know who would keep their mouth shut if they caught a teacher smoking crack in the girls' locker room? Drey on paper is preposterous. Her brother ended up in jail for dealing drugs. Her mother works double shifts as an EMT. Life is hard, so why not cut her teacher some slack? After a while, even Epps isn't subtle enough to make anybody buy that as motivation.
Lucky for Mackie, his character, Frank, gets fewer scenes. As a result, his character is more confined and developed than anyone else. Still, he gets stuck spouting stuff like "White is right?" when Dan challenges Frank's friendship with Drey.
The movie willingly undermines its own credibility. In the politically correct age we're in, can teachers get away with say "fucking bullshit" in front of students and their parents? Obnoxious scenes like Dan visiting his family practically write the thesis on screen and then underline and highlight the parts we're supposed to remember after the credits roll. His father and mother, who remain liberals and protested the Vietnam War, still contribute to the problem. His father asks a racist about ebonics. Thank goodness Dan is liberally tolerant enough to show him the errors of his ways with hardly a word. Thank goodness that the filmmakers almost acknowledge this film has a bunch of idealistic white people, even if they're fucked up, and a bunch of black people who deal drugs. Of course, the film doesn't do things in such black and white terms. At one point, Dan explains ying and yang and almost says the world isn't black and white. It's imperfect and so are humans.
The film has no ending. These people will go about their messed up lives hoping they'll find meaning and happiness. If it weren't constantly in close-ups, maybe the filmmakers would suggest there's a bigger picture. Until then, I think I'll always equate this film with going to coffee with my other friends who are Democrats. We'll talk about how the state of the world is fucked up because of ignorant Republicans, but how there's too few of us to change all that. Then we'll be self-righteous like Dan and look down on people who make jokes about ebonics. Because Dan doesn't have a savior complex and neither do we.
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| Dear Emmy |
[08 Jul 2006|12:20am] |
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mood |
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I was almost late for work because I sat and read every last Emmy nomination the other day. So, for lack of anything better to do, let me complain.
It's good news that everybody is complaining. Only the New York Post found nothing to whine about when there's plenty wrong with the most illegitimate awards group, beside the Grammys, of course.
Will & Grace got 15 nominations last year for what was easily their weakest season. The show goes out with what was a well-received bang and Two and a Half Men steals their nomination? That's not OK.
Six Feet Under's submitting the final episode was not just a brilliant idea, it was merely displaying what might be the show's strongest work since the pilot episode. Even voters who rarely watched the show would have trouble denying the immense emotional weight of the finale. Yet it feels like a slight to Michael C. Hall, Lauren Ambrose, and Rachel Griffiths that they've repeatedly been ignored in the last few years. Hall, who was nominated alongside every one else the first season, has not gotten a second nomination in spite of his excellent, scene-stealing work this final year. His absence, along with the lack of a Best Drama Series nomination, are just another example of why the Emmys don't know the best way to say goodbye sometimes. It is wonderful that Frances Conroy has received yet another nomination and I hope she wins. Krause, who I've never thought to be the highlight of the show's actors, is welcome company if Christopher Meloni managed a nod.
Scrubs getting a single nomination for Comedy Series and not for Zach Braff? That's braffling-- er, baffling.
This is what makes no sense whatsoever with Emmy rules. Yesterday, which is a film owned by HBO, is nominated for best Made for TV Movie. Uh, I think I've seen that nominated somewhere else. Oh yeah. South Africa got it nominated for Best Foreign Language Film at the Oscars, submitting it in 2004. Was it really made for TV, or are you just desperate to nominate something that wasn't on the Sci-Fi Channel?
Two nominees in the made for TV category about Flight 93? Overkill.
Kevin James has an Emmy nomination for The King of Queens. Yeah. That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard, seen, or that may ever happen in the history of the known universe.
No offense to The Colbert Report, but it's definitely the ugly, bastard child of The Daily Show and should not be shutting out Jon Stewart. Well, not without a very long, written apology.
Outstanding Reality Competition Program makes me want to bang my head on broken glass. Cancel The Amazing Race and Survivor and maybe we'll have an interesting category.
Well, the one thing I'm very happy about is that this new voting system didn't aid The Gilmore Girls. The world does know some justice.
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| Biggest Night of 2006 |
[05 Mar 2006|04:06pm] |
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mood |
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 excited |
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It's here. Oh man, it's here.
Look for possible misses in: Supporting Actor, Supporting Actress, Sound, Original Score, Original Song, Foreign Language Film, and all the short film categories.
And final predictions are...
Best Picture
Brokeback Mountain
Best Director
Brokeback Mountain - Ang Lee
Best Actor
Capote - Philip Seymour Hoffman
Best Actress
Walk the Line - Reese Witherspoon
Best Supporting Actor
Syriana - George Clooney
Best Supporting Actress
The Constant Gardener - Rachel Weisz
Best Original Screenplay
Crash
Best Adapted Screenplay
Brokeback Mountain
Best Cinematography
Brokeback Mountain
Best Art Direction/Set Decoration
Memoirs of a Geisha
Best Costume Design
Memoirs of a Geisha
Best Film Editing
Crash
Best Sound Mixing
King Kong
Best Sound Editing
King Kong
Best Makeup
The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe
Best Visual Effects
King Kong
Best Original Score
Memoirs of a Geisha
Best Original Song
Crash - "In the Deep"
Best Short Film, Animated
The Moon and the Sun
Best Short Film, Live Action
Six Shooter
Best Documentary Short Subject
God Sleeps in Rwanda
Best Documentary Feature
March of the Penguins
Best Foreign Language Film
Tsotsi - South Africa
Best Animated Feature
Wallace and Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit
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| I'm a Quitter |
[14 Aug 2005|03:43pm] |
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music |
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Jessica Simpson - With You (Acoustic) |
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I had such a good dream earlier. I dreamed I snuck out of the Pizza Hut Call Center to see a movie with my Mom. Then I drove back to clock out during the previews. I got caught by the regional manager or someone, someone who looked a lot like my assistant principal in high school. I was calling her a bitch a bunch of times and then she said, "Well, I fired you from Pizza Hut." And I went off on this rant about how it's Pizza Hut, not a real job. Then Patrick, who was a delivery guy for some reason, walked out with me. On our way out we saw this girl walking in with a paper offering a job there. We both shouted, "A star is born!" Then I woke up.
And then moments after I woke up, Pizza Hut called and I told them I was "sick" today and that yesterday was my last day. It was awkward when she asked if I was quitting, but I'm not. I'm being put on leave. I just don't think I'll ever, ever return to $5.50 an hour.
Work is over here. It's almost all over here. I can't believe I'm finally leaving Springfield. This is so terrifying. I have so, so much left to do. Most of it involves laundry and cleaning, so I don't really want to think too much about it.
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| Breakaway |
[11 Aug 2005|02:36am] |
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Madonna - Music |
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I feel like Madonna, changing my image every now and then. One day I'm screenwriting driver test results, the next I'm writing children's stories about Stephanie-eating ticks. I'm enjoying the experimentation, but this is just going to be a regular entry.
I wrote this just a minute ago to vent: "I want to know that everything that's about to happen is going to happen for the better. I want to know that in spite of the worries and insecurities, that I'm going to be a very, very happy person as a result. I want to know what I'm going to see and hear and do. I want to know my friends. I want to know if this will work."
I don't know if that's exactly what I want, but it felt good to write it all out.
Melissa and I spent her last night here together. It's my first real goodbye before leaving for college. I love all of my friends. It's hard for me to say goodbye. It's hard to think I'm going to be four hours away in another city with different friends. But somehow I know this is what I always wanted. I'm not meant to live in this town and I've always known it. I'm not going to start singing Kelly's Breakaway or anything, but I could and it'd likely be appropriate.
I've been burning CDs like mad to play while I drive around town. Melissa's ex-boyfriend put on my license plates tonight. When my parking tag comes in the mail in the next few days, that's the last thing the car really needs. Well, that and a fourth hubcap, but that might never come.
I wonder what everything will be like a month or two from now. How I'll like my classes. Who I'll be hanging out with. If or who I'll be dating. Where I'll be working. I should revisit this entry and then I'll know, huh?
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| Revenge of the Attacking Phantom Tick |
[08 Aug 2005|03:57am] |
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mood |
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music |
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Rihanna - Pon De Replay |
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The night was moist. Two fags, Adam and Patrick, were joined by their faghags, Melissa and Stephanie. Like all teenagers do in their teenage years, they decided it would be a fun idea if they went out to the old, abandoned girl scout camp where some girl scouts were brutally murdered decades ago.
Armed with neon colored flashlights, sandals that go with practically every outfit, and enough common sense to outsmart even the smartest of Scooby Doo villains, the teenagers set off into the dark and spooky woods. Little did they know what was lurking ahead.
All was going well. The two fags realized that if they both went first and pointed their flashlights ahead, they were not as big of pussies. The butch faghags, standing behind for protection, used a cell phone light to double the safety.
As they rounded each terrifyingly shadowy corner, they put their lives in the hands of the ghosts that called the girl scout camp home, or if they had a home somewhere else they would probably just call it the girl scout camp.
The faggiest of the fags, Patrick, decided it would be a good idea to go see an old haunted house down beyond the pool. After venturing down a path, they found a doorway. "Ew, there's a spider! Look at it!" Admittedly, it was a big spider. "I don't want it to get on me!" There was no reason to overreact like a big fag.
The group turned back, taking a different path back to the pool. They realized they'd been walking a long ways when a grizzly bear appeared behind them. Luckily, one of the faghags, threw a Dior shoe at it and it scampered off into a cave.
They wandered out of the woods, finally finding their way back to their car. Starting up the car, they drove back towards their metropolitan city.
Stephanie, the least butch of the faghags, began to scream in the back. "Oh my God! A tick! Oh my God! Oh my God, Jesus Christ in the heavens above! Take me now!" Adam, who was driving, as fags are expected to do in these situations, swerved to park the car. Stephanie jumped out of the car, as did they others, but the tick on her arm was swelling to an enormous size. Finally it devoured her entire body.
The fags and remaining faghag returned to the city for tea and a trip to Abercrombie & Fitch.
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| This Entry Mentions Classism and Projectile Vomiting |
[03 Aug 2005|01:00pm] |
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mood |
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I feel tired. Yesterday was my first day off in about a week.
I'm supposed to get my car today. I've already tried to call the guy, but I just got his voicemail. I left a message with lots of "um, so I was wondering if the car is ready yet" and I'm hoping inspires him to call sooner. I kind of wanted it today so I could have it tonight after work.
My Dad, who is reading this now, I presume, wants me to fill out these FAFSA forms. I'm not entirely sure what I'm doing. I requested a PIN, but I don't know if it's coming in the mail or e-mail or what. I am very confused. Lucky for me he reads this and maybe can call my Mom and read this whole paragraph to her. If I didn't tell you that's his new hobby, surprise!
Anthony, Brock, and I hung out last night and went to GLO for a bit. The critters have not only taken over the Earth. They're eaten it. Later on in the night we got a talk from some new facilitators. One of them ignorantly believes that the gay community is the only minority group who creates subgroups and is judgmental. However, as we all know, every minority group looks down upon some subsection. For us, it's the nasty, smelly, homeless trendy bisexuals who hang out in back. For Jews, it's the self-hating. For Hispanics it's the sleepy janitors. Everyone hates some portion of their minority group just because they make everyone else look bad. It's human nature to create classism and get pissed off.
I spent an hour or so organizing my clothes for stuff I'm not taking to St. Louis. I can't believe it's coming up so quick, but I'm getting more excited than nervous. Well, until the time comes for me to get there. Then I'll be so nervous I'll be projectile vomiting.
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| For Kris |
[30 Jul 2005|06:47am] |
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mood |
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music |
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Elton John - I Guess That's Why They Call It Blues |
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10 years ago - I was seven years old and I guess that was the summer between second and third grade. I was best friends with a group of boys who I'm now quite sure are probably all utterly butch. They probably played sports all through high school. We used to play in the woods and ride bikes and do boyish things.
Five years ago - I think that was the summer after eighth grade. We had just moved here to Missouri. I remember that summer as being very unhappy. I had gone to Carver for a month and didn't have the best of luck fitting in. I made friends with a few girls that turned out to just be making fun of me when they told me we were friends. I guess it hurt at the time because I wanted so much to fit in. They were also heavy into drugs and sex, and I remember being so judgmental of that. I couldn't be friends with them for that.
One year ago - The summer between junior and senior year wasn't very eventful. I wasn't employed. I guess I just hung out. Melissa and I would do things. We would go to GLO. I guess things were less busy.
Yesterday - Friday wasn't such a great day. I woke up around 2 PM. I went to bed at 6 AM, and here I am again awake. I went to work and hung with Stephanie and Patrick and tried to flirt with the cute boy who works there again. Then Stephanie and Patrick ruined plans, like always.
Tomorrow - Well, tonight, which will very likely be Sunday, technically speaking, will be spent at the albino farm if everything works out. Then I will sleep and go to work. I also plan to look at a car sometime over by Walmart.
5 snacks I enjoy - Fruit, muffin bars, Special K, carrots, and the mint cookies I got with Stephanie the other night.
5 bands/artists whose songs I know the lyrics to - Beyonce, Elton John, George Michael, Kelly Clarkson, Billy Joel.
Five things I would do with $100,000,000 - Pay someone to pick out a very nice car for me, buy myself a gorgeous apartment in NYC where I can spit on poor people without too much effort, fly Melissa out to live in my broom closet, buy myself a very famous husband, and get myself a wardrobe department.
Five locations I would like to run away to - St. Louis, New York, Meryl Streep's house, the Academy's film library, or Compton.
Five bad habits I have - Rudeness, instability, cockiness, paranoia, and chronic depression.
Five things I would never wear - Leather chaps, a sailor suit, moccasins, a tool belt, or a fake mustache.
Five TV shows I like(d) - Desperate Housewives, American Idol, Futurama, Will & Grace, and Days of Our Lives.
Five movies I like - Gone with the Wind, Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?, Kiss of the Spider Woman, The Unbearable Lightness of Being, and The Last Picture Show.
Five famous people I would like to meet - Meryl Streep, Elizabeth Taylor, Jane Fonda, Vanessa Redgrave, and Nancy Pelosi.
Five biggest joys at the moment - College, getting a car soon, the possibility of getting a new Details in the mail any day now, a paycheck, and Melissa coming to town.
Five favorite toys - The computer, the DVD player, kittens, the van, and my somewhat recent two-disc George Michael's Greatest Hits CD I made.
TAG! You're it! Fill this mofo out too!
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) melissaroberts
jellyfishies
zenawp
kyleblakely42
jimagine59
I picked you homos because I knew you had nothing better to do.
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| A New, Liberal Roommate! |
[27 Jul 2005|04:33pm] |
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Today I feel like things at Webster are going to be much, much better. I got my roommate changed to Mac, so now I don't have to worry about having someone discuss hunting or fishing with me. I also changed Forensics to Contemporary Moral Problems. It's a Philosophy class, so I can laugh as I take a class with Philosophy majors. They're so impractical!
Work was annoying last night. I love the lengths that people go to to be annoying. I had one older woman who would interrupt me every time I tried to say something because she's a Pizza Hut expert, apparently.
Me: "Did you know what you wanted or would you like to hear the spec--"
Woman: "NO! We know what we want, we don't need to hear the specials! See, I even knew what you were going to say!"
Me: "OK..."
--
Me: "That should be out to you in about thirty minutes."
Woman: "OK, I'm starting the stopwatch... NOW!"
She would interrupt me a lot and every time she did I'd put the headset on mute and saying she needed to die loudly. I hated her more than I've hated anyone I've talked to.
Between that, driving in the rain, and hanging out with noncommittal Patrick, Stephanie, and Nikki, I was tired. It was funny, however, when Patrick suggested we get laundry detergent and pour it into the OTC fountain. When we drove by, someone had already done it and were getting arrested. It was pouring into the road.
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| Change and Concern |
[24 Jul 2005|09:55pm] |
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Alex North - Main Title (Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?) |
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I had my first real panic concerning college today. I really am thinking now that I don't want to take Forensics. The more I think about it, the more I'm sure I don't want to spend a few weekends on tournaments. I searched for other classes and found a couple that would fit instead. I'll talk to my Mom about it.
Lindsey, being a bad friend, didn't call me. But it's alright because Erin called and I went over and saw her new apartment. She's lucky to be out on her own, but I don't know if I'm quite ready for that.
My roommate status could possibly change. I'm going to call the housing department tomorrow and see if I can get my roommate changed to a guy named Mac who I am far more compatible with. We have similar tastes in movies and music, and we have the same major. It makes sense that I room with him and not a hunter or fisherman.
It's funny. Even as the years go on, I still get as anxious about change as I ever did.
Last night I went into work early and then stayed til close with Stephanie. Then we went to my brother's work and waited on him while venturing to Taco Bell and a gas station, where the elderly clerk gave me three free pennies and a wink. Work is so easy now that I have the hang of it!
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| Work and Penguins Are Lame |
[22 Jul 2005|04:13pm] |
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Work last night was a little more difficult. Not because I don't understand things, but because annoying drunk people and co-workers don't always help. I'm sure it'll get better when I'm used to things.
Patrick, Nikki, Dwane, and I went downtown and I did a bad job of parking, or so claims Patrick! He also says I don't speed enough. Anyway, I saw Jodi Morin and we laughed about Chance. Hahaha! Then everyone, excluding Jodi who left, went with me to Walmart and we bought groceries and blared Gwen Stefani.
Brenna and I had an adventure travelling to her corner of the state (she lives a long ways away!) and then we went to Campbell 16 to see March of the Penguins. Yes, you heard correctly. It's not bad, but I don't see why so many people have packed the art house theaters to see it. Penguins are cute, but they're not so cute I want to be trapped with them.
I really don't want to go to work. I really, really don't. It's a Friday and it's going to be really busy and I'm going to fuck more stuff up. But it doesn't matter because I'm only working there for another three weeks and then I can find a better job.
Things with my Mom have gotten better too. When I came home from work two days ago there were two cards waiting for me. One congratulating me on getting my license and another apologizing for the overreaction. I appreciate it, but it still doesn't excuse my retard brother.
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| I Wish I Was in St. Louis |
[20 Jul 2005|05:19pm] |
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This is an accurate depiction of my family. It's scary to think that it is, but it is.
My Mom told me I could go by the doctor to get my TB shot results looked at. I told her I'd bring her home a soda. She said to be home with enough time to take my brother by Best Buy real quick and then to his work. He has to be at work by 6. So I figure I'll come home at 5 and just have fun being free for a little while.
I went to the doctor where it took an hour to have them look at results, find a chart, and try to get a nurse to sign something when it turned out she wasn't working. It's past 3:30 when I pull out of the parking lot. I want to do some lame stuff I wouldn't do if there was someone with me. I go to look at movies, swing by the bank to try to cash checks (I forgot my Mom closed my account by taking all my money out of it), and then get my Mom a soda. I'm not that good with directions, so it takes me a little while to get to places, but I'm home at 4:45.
When I pull into the driveway I walk to the house where my Mom meets me. She's screaming, "Where have you been?" There are neighbors outside, so this is embarrassing. I told her I went to the doctor and drove around. She acts like this is the least likely thing that anyone would ever do. At which point she told me she called the doctor and the police. The police?! What the hell? I was gone for less than two and a half hours. My brother's making annoying comments, so I go to my room. My Mom comes banging on my door where I'm lectured on taking the car for longer than I was allowed. I told her it took an hour at the doctor, I brought her her soda, and just wanted to drive for a bit. It's my first day with my license. The odds are good I'll want to make the most of it. I was home in time to take Andrew where he wanted to go. I ask her why she's so upset and she says, "You don't know what it's like to worry about one of your children." She starts crying. I tell her, "I'm leaving in less than a month for St. Louis. What are you going to do then?" She storms off and I just stay in my room. Less than thirty seconds later my brother is at the door kicking it so hard it sounds like it's going to break in two. What the hell is this? He starts screaming, "You fucking faggot! You were off to fuck Anthony weren't you!" Yes, because Anthony and I have hung out in the last week. I tell him, "Yes, we really fucked!" He's still kicking and then quits after a few more homophobic slurs. At this point, I wish I'd never gotten a license.
I really, really can't wait to get away from here. I want to get away from this and away from the two of them. I love how my brother's the one that's responsible for my Mom's torn rotator cuff. I love that he's made her cry more times than I can ever count, yet he defends her when I come home two and a half hours after I left. I wish I was in St. Louis.
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| Adam Passes His Driver's Test |
[19 Jul 2005|11:41pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 accomplished |
] |
Adam Passes His Driver's Test
Starring Adam as himself
Also starring the Nice Woman as the lady that determines if Adam gets his license or not
EXT. PARKING LOT IN REPUBLIC - AFTERNOON
Adam and the Nice Woman are in a parking lot in Republic in the afternoon. They make friendly chit chat about how it's hot and how the pool would be nice today.
NICE WOMAN
Go ahead and show me all the stuff that you were asked about last time.
ADAM
OK, I know where that all is this time. I could even defrost!
NICE WOMAN
Full points, you handsome young man!
EXT. PARALLEL PARKING STREET - AFTERNOON
There are several cones set up to symbolize a parallel parking spot.
NICE WOMAN
Just back into there. Good. Now drive out.
ADAM
I just ran over that cone. Oops!
NICE WOMAN
It doesn't matter, you handsome young man!
EXT. PARKING LOT IN REPUBLIC - AFTERNOON
NICE WOMAN
Well Adam, you passed, but didn't do the best. But you got a 70%. Do you have any questions for me?
ADAM
Yeah, I passed right?
NICE WOMAN
Yes.
ADAM
No questions!
After sitting in the crowded license bureau in Republic for an hour or two, Adam gets his license where his hair doesn't look great, but his smile looks flawless.
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| Harry Potter Seduces Small Children to Make Them Witches |
[16 Jul 2005|07:23pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 Harry Potter-rific |
] |
Melissa woke me up at 12:13 AM with a phone call boasting that she got Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince before me. So without doing my hair or makeup, I was off to Walmart where I bought the new book.
I read it on the way home, and then immediately camped out in my room only stopping now and again to get food. I took a short nap around 3 AM. That was it outside of the bathroom and food, not always together. I've avoided human contact as much as possible. And now I've finished what may be the best Harry Potter book so far. Plus, as lame as it is, it made me cry. It was so hella good. If any of you are dumb like Brenna, you should stop being dumb and start reading Harry Potter right this second and never, ever stop.
My Mom was telling me about a radio program this morning about how there's going to be a book burning for Harry Potter. Ah Hitler, thank God you still work through your minions even today. By minions, I mean Christians. She told me one guy had a great opinion to offer. He suggested that those parents that burn and ban books worry their children might have some independent thought and maybe question the opinions and religion shoved down their throats by their parents. Thank God Harry Potter loves to seduce young kids.
In other news, I went with Patrick, Stephanie, and Nikki (which I assume is how I would spell her name if I were her) to the Planned Parenthood protest downtown where we chanted lamely and I, thanks to Nikki, wore an oversized pink Planned Parenthood shirt.
My strange training schedule begins at the Pizza Hut Call Center on Monday. If I can get a job, there is something seriously wrong in this country.
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| Adam Fails His Driver's Test |
[14 Jul 2005|05:12pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 screenwriter with rainbow |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Billy Joel - Big Shot |
] |
Adam Fails His Driver's Test
Starring Adam as his himself
Also starring Crazy Woman as the lady that determines if Adam gets his license or not
INT. DRIVER'S LICENSE OFFICE - AFTERNOON
We open in the driver's license office, obviously. Adam checks in and goes out to wait in the waiting room with his Mom.
EXT. PARKING LOT - AFTERNOON
CRAZY WOMAN
Where is your car?
ADAM
It's over here.
They walk to the car. Adam is not farmiliar with it because it's his grandfather's car and is easier to paralell park than the big ass van with only one mirror.
CRAZY WOMAN
How do you defrost?
ADAM
Um...
CRAZY WOMAN
You lose points, fool!
They drive around downtown. Adam's not doing bad. Then they come to an intersection. Determining if he has time or not, Adam pauses for about five seconds. He sees that a car is very far off down the round and decides to go.
CRAZY WOMAN
Stop!
Adam looks at her like she is a crazy woman. He stops and they wait for about twenty seconds. The car Adam noticed earlier drives past them. Thinking the Crazy Woman has made a bad call and is now realizing it, he drives on. She directs him to pull into a parking lot, where Adam parks.
CRAZY WOMAN
You failed.
ADAM
What?
The Crazy Woman explains that Adam almost caused an accident. Adam realizes that she is a crazy woman, and decides to get some french fries from Arby's.
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| Pizza Hut, Don't Call When I'm Asleep |
[12 Jul 2005|06:14am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 frustrated |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Simon & Garfunkel - Homeward Bound |
] |
This is so entirely frustrating. Last night I'd been up for about 28 hours when I was going to call the Pizza Hut Call Center and see when training is. Then I fell asleep. Apparently, twenty minutes later my Mom got me up because I had a call about the job. When I woke up this morning I was asked if Pizza Hut called and she said they did and I talked to them. I didn't believe my Mom, but then she reminded me of the one and only part I remember about last night: asking where the phone was. I don't remember what was said on the phone. I don't remember if I was hired, not hired, if I was told when the training session was, if I was being given a million dollars. I honestly don't remember a word I said except: "Where's the phone?" So now I'm not sure exactly what to do. I think I'll call Patrick when it gets a little later and see when his training session is. Actually, like four of the people on my friends list are working there so if any of you know when it is or can find out it will be greatly appreciated. I'll try calling back their later around noon or so.
Yesterday my Mom and I went to a couple hardware stores and my she was hit on by a lesbian. I think that's cute.
I'm only a few days away from Harry Potter. I want to do something entirely lame, like show up someplace at midnight and demand the book and then stay up for the next couple days to read it.
I'm even fewer days away from getting my license. We're going to go steal my grandpa's car, if possible, and practice paralell parking and driving around and about town. I could be a licensed driver by the end of the week, people. Doesn't that scare you?
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| The Roomie |
[11 Jul 2005|02:40pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 nervous |
] |
I talked to my roommate on the phone. For whatever reason, that's a nerve wracking thing to have happen. Probably because it didn't go over exactly how I wanted. I mean, the conversation was good. We learned a lot about each other in very little time. He wants to do Elementary Education and I think that's respectable. But at the same time he likes rock music, plays guitar, likes to see local bands, and hunts and fishes. If I were the all-American boy, this would be a match made in heaven. However I am a big fag who might as well be from France. I so discreetly tried to find out his schedule, but he couldn't remember it. I was hoping he'd ask me mine so I could slide in that I'm taking Gay and Lesbian Ethics. Don't get me wrong, he sounds like a nice guy, but we don't have much in common. Honestly, we don't have anything in common so far. But roommates are only a fraction of the college experience. I still have the faghags down the hall.
Anyway, I've been having a movie day. I've been having a few movie days as I become more and more socially reclusive. It's not that I don't want to hang out with people, it's just that few opportunities have presented themselves and I've been unwilling to do much laundry.
In other news I changed my xy profile to St. Louis and have been hit up by entirely too many people. I feel overwhelmed, overloaded, and uninterested.
Today has made me nervous about college and it seems silly that it would. It's not the end of the world that my roommate and I are not completely compatible. I just assumed putting Top 40 and Showtunes as my top music choices would guarantee me a fag. I have been foiled.
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